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Well I took the plunge and saw the need so started a webring for bloggers re: mental illness. Not sure how much of a response I will get but Im hoping it will help others.  Anyway if your interested here’s more info

Learning to cope with flashbacks is a necessity for people dealing with ptsd and DID. Sometimes things as small as a sound or smell can trigger a flashback which can lead to a full blown panic attack. Over the years I have learned to cope with flashbacks in different ways and everyone I have talked to has their own way they feel most at ease with. These are just a couple of the things I use when I’m having a flashback:

  • Reminding myself of the present date, year etc. That I am no longer a child but an adult and that what I am remembering isn’t happening right now- ie its a memory.  *This also helps having someone say it to me.
  • Using my senses to draw me back to the present. I think of 3 things I can smell, hear, feel, and see. For example: I can smell coffee toast and eggs, hear the TV, neighbors and cars, feel the floor, chair, desk and see the wall computer, TV. This also helped friends when I was involved with online support groups.

With the recent medicine crisis and the fact that the next 4 months are hard ones for me, I have been going over what I learned concerning staying out of the hospital. I know for me there are certain things to watch for, one or two are OK but any more than that I know I need to tell someone and most likely go inpatient.

The first thing that usually happens is I go off my medicine. That’s not too bad as long as I get back on it as soon as I’m aware that Ive/we’ve stopped taking it.  The next thing is usually isolation, when I get really depressed I don’t like to be around anyone which is not always a good thing.  Self harm is the third thing to watch for and I know if I am doing any self harm I need to tell someone because I’m now one quick step away from the hospital. I have insiders who self harm when things are really bad and that’s not good if I’m losing time. The last thing is feeling suicidal which is a definite hospitalization.

A few years ago I used to be in and out of the hospital a lot. Learning what signs to watch for has helped me stay out of the hospital for several years now. Does that mean I will never be inpatient again? I doubt it but I definitly wont be there as much as in the past. I do know though that now I have more control over if and when I go to the hospital than I did before and that has helped a great deal in how I feel about myself.

I hate Hate HATE trying new medicine.  I know in the end it helps so that I can function better but when I first start on it I get sooooo tired and it is so frustrating. It took almost 3 weeks to get something that might actually work. First getting in to see the doctor and then of course the red tape with the insurance company. It took all I had to keep my insiders who self harm from doing anything while we worked the medicine crisis out. It’s been years since I’ve had to go inpatient and I didn’t want to go that route. I’m so thankful for my therapist and doctor because they worked close with me so that I could avoid the hosptial. We’re not totaly through this yet but so far no nasty side affects. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay

 This is a big thing for me right now. I had worked very hard on getting all my insiders to work together so that wecould function to get things done. Then I moved to be closer to my family and “out of protection” for my child insiders I tried to keep them all from fronting so they wouldn’t get hurt. Hmmmmm not a wise thing to do. I started losing time again and when my current therapist confronted me on it I realized the big mistake I made.  So now, since its been 2 years of “holding down the fort” I find that I have to re establish cooperation with some pissed off insiders so that I don’t lose any more time. At times it feels the switching is out of control which is why things take so long to get finished right now. I came across an old poem the other day that reminded me that I need to not forget to appreciate them for all the help they have given me over the years so that I could go on living.

    At this point in my life I believe I am at a place where Ive accepted who I am and embraced all the different parts that make me Me. It’s not always easy, in fact it can be very exhausting at times but I still have alot to learn. Personally I have chosen to work towards cooperation as opposed to integration because it works well for me. I can’t say which one is the best for anyone else because I think each person who lives with DID needs to make that decision for themselves. I’m exhausted right now but I will right something up later on what I have learned as far as working toward cooperation.

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The Faces of Me by Johnna is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
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