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I am so proud of Lash and so excited for him. I know this move has been difficult for him and the situation we were in before the move was even more difficult.  Just a little bit about Lash: He is one of my littles who is also a protector. Some may disagree with me on that because he has issues with anger and self harm  but I see those as barometers for the system as a whole. I know we have worked hard with him and he has worked hard to the point that now if he self harms it means we are at the point where we need outside help usually hospitalization, and as i said in an earlier post that has not happened in several years.  Please check out Lash’s Wall

With the recent medicine crisis and the fact that the next 4 months are hard ones for me, I have been going over what I learned concerning staying out of the hospital. I know for me there are certain things to watch for, one or two are OK but any more than that I know I need to tell someone and most likely go inpatient.

The first thing that usually happens is I go off my medicine. That’s not too bad as long as I get back on it as soon as I’m aware that Ive/we’ve stopped taking it.  The next thing is usually isolation, when I get really depressed I don’t like to be around anyone which is not always a good thing.  Self harm is the third thing to watch for and I know if I am doing any self harm I need to tell someone because I’m now one quick step away from the hospital. I have insiders who self harm when things are really bad and that’s not good if I’m losing time. The last thing is feeling suicidal which is a definite hospitalization.

A few years ago I used to be in and out of the hospital a lot. Learning what signs to watch for has helped me stay out of the hospital for several years now. Does that mean I will never be inpatient again? I doubt it but I definitly wont be there as much as in the past. I do know though that now I have more control over if and when I go to the hospital than I did before and that has helped a great deal in how I feel about myself.

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